The Heiligenstädter Testament

Due to its history, the Vienna Philharmonic Orchestra has a special connection to Ludwig van Beethoven. Aged 26, the composer slowly lost his hearing. Beethoven’s "Heiligenstädter Testament," which is not a testament in the usual definition of the word, was written on October 6, 1802, when Beethoven was 32, in the form of a letter which was in all probability never sent, describing his inner torment from the depth of his being caused by his deafness. The text gives a deep impression of how the genius experienced the loss of his sense of hearing:

For my brothers Carl and [Johann] Beethoven.
"O you people, who think or say that I am malevolent, stubborn, and misanthropic, what an injustice you do me.....but consider that for the past 6 years, I have fallen victim to an incurable condition.....such that causes me to be excluded from public company, so that I have had to isolate myself early on, resigned to living alone, although at the same time, wanting to rise above it all, oh! how hard it was for me to endure the double tragedy of the diagnosis as well as to experience the rejection in consequence of it, not being able to say to people: speak louder, shout, for I am deaf […] I am forced to live like one banished, and when I do enter into company, I am besieged with panic, because I might inadvertently reveal my condition. […] What humiliation it is, when someone standing next to me hears a flute in the distance and I hear nothing; […] such occurrences have brought me close to total despair. It would not take much to make me end my own life. Only my music keeps me from it […] deity, you who looks down into my innermost being; you know that the love of mankind and longing for goodness reside within me, - O people, when you read this realize that you have done me an injustice, may those equally so unfortunate as I take comfort in common plight with one who, despite this handicap of nature, did everything in his power and ability to be accepted in spite of this limitation in the ranks of worthy artists and men […] with joy I hasten on to meet death - if it should come before I have had time to fully develop my artistic abilities, even in spite of this hard destiny that I must endure, it would come too soon and I would postpone it - but even then I would be at peace, does it not free me from my endless suffering? Death, take me when you wish, I am travelling courageously in your direction."
Ludwig van Beethoven
Heiligenstadt, October 6, 1802

(source http://w3.rz-berlin.mpg.de/cmp/beethoven_heiligenstadt.html)


Bedřich Smetana, too, experienced hearing loss. Thanks to the assistance of Professor Dr. Otto Biba, Archive Director of the Vienna Philharmoinc, we gained access to a deeply moving document – a previously unpublished letter written in 1883 in which Smetana, one year before his death, describes his suffering:
"As of October 1874, I became totally deaf in both ears; before this general deafness I sensed first a soft, then after a few weeks, a very loud ringing in the lower frequency, like from a distance […] I hear no sound from the outside, just this   internal noise, a rushing and roaring, similar to that of a waterfall, which has tormented me day and night for 9 years now. […] Things taking place above me, that is above my head, I do not hear; however, sounds emanating from the ground, such as walking, stamping, and  hammering, etc, no instruments, except for the timpani. […] Without this connection to the ground, I do not hear anything, not even a large orchestra with brass, trombones, even when I stand close by, still nothing but the timpani!!! […] during the day I am plagued with a long-lasting, high-pitched piccolo register (!) chords in A-flat Major: C, E-flat, A-flat = second inversion, which alternately sound and which I believe to have expressed in the note e4 in the finale of my string quartet, because the violinist can easily play the highest E in flageolet, while the triad in the string quartet is impossible […] And in this deplorable condition I have written large scale compositions, without ever having been able to hear them."

Smetana then names various compositions—the symphonic cycle "Ma vlast", the String Quartet "Aus meinem Leben" und die operas "Hubicka" (The Kiss), "Tajemstvi" (The Secret) and "Certova stena" (The Devil’s Wall) - which he wrote after losing his hearing, and firmly maintains:" I can make no appraisal of my works. I see them before me, but from the compositions I have named here, I have heard not one tone. Still, they lived within me and from my sheer imagination they inspired me: bringing me to tears, enchanting, amazing and enthralling me; the secret of inner creativity!"